Here comes the boom..
So finally I got enough time to type this bitch up, I mean seriously I had the mother fucker, written on my journal for weeks. I kind of found myself being greedy with the recipe, considering how fucking awesome it is.
Be forewarned, I had someone take a small bite and it rocked their world…no really the flax seed fucked him up for days.
Flax seed and coffee is the double punch to your balls, straight up. If you’re eating dirty, chances are that your underwear will be dirty after eating this.
You might notice an increase in sales and a demand for your toilet paper. It’s not a coincidence, that I published my chocolate thunder recipe. Imma need my money, boo boo.
This cake is so moist and delicious that it could be the clean version of the infamous Laxative cake prank. The only difference is it won’t hurt them and they’ll feel better about themselves the day after. I had my victim (unbeknownst to me, till he nearly shitted himself) feeling fresh and clear headed the next few days.
So handle my shit with care and love, or you might gets shitted on.
On a less shittier note, I’d like to introduce my bitch, my guh, my thugginess… Janella aka JDawg, she’s known on IG as @Dekini_fit. She’s my long lost sister,and she’s helping me by not only helping get the website together but now as a contributor. She’s awesome, and not only can she flip off people, she can flip big ass tires… check her out and keep your eyes peeled for her awesome ass words of motivation and shit.
Moral of the story:
Shit just got real when you eat the THUNDUH!
Keep it thuggish, ruggish, and motha fucking toned!
Pamela Martha Focker
Chocolate Thunder Cake
Makes 8-10 servings
- Spring form pan or 2 – 9 in rounds
- Mixer or processor
- 2/3 Almond meal
- 1/3 c flax meal
- 3/4 c cocoa powder
- 2/3 c finely shredded coconut
- 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
- 3/4 tsp baking soda
- 1 Tbsp vanilla extract
- 1 c brewed black coffee (I use NOLA crème Brule)
- 1/2 c of maple syrup
- 1/2 c melted coconut oil
- 5 pitted date
- 6 eggs
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease cake pans with coconut oil.
Mix all the dry ingredients thoroughly in a bowl. Add all the wet ingredients to the processor and blend that shit until the dates are completely broken down. If your mixer is small, do it in batches. Slowly add the wet to the dry ingredients, mixing until there are minimal lumps. Pour into your greased up pans.
Bake for 40-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.