Dear Eve, you’re a bitch.

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Uh excuse me? Ya little shit,us bitches like chocolate and shit.

So this is day 14 of the whole30 challenge, and I must say that I completely forgot what it was like to be without any type of sugar, and be on my MOTHA FUCKING PERIOD! Oh how I yearn for my chocolate thunder, or my chocolate flax-seed waffles sweetened with organic maple syrup. So I’ve done whole30 before in fact I did whole60 before and I just can’t remember how I dealt.

I’ve realized as I get older the more I become like my mother, which is fucked up,because she’s bat shit crazy on candy when she gets a week away from her cycle. Men don’t understand, they just stay away and kids get on your nerves. Maybe that’s why I turn to sugar during my time. Although the sugar I would normally eat before whole30 was the Paleo approved stuff, our ancestors didn’t have nothing but fruit to feast on,not honey,coconut sugar,and especially not agave honey..wtf is that anyways? Bees nut on cactus? I don’t understand that shit at all,so I won’t eat that shit.

So even though there are Paleo approved sugars out there..be extra mindful about how much you eat and what the fuck you’re eating.

PLEASE START YOUR WHOLE30 AROUND YOUR FUCKING MONTHLY GIFT!

If I wasn’t half way in I would have eating two belgium chocolate waffles while writing this. No seriously this laptop would be smeared with maple syrup and chocolate crumbs.

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Moral of the story:

Bitches love chocolate,but chocolate isn’t whole30 approved. So get that bitch an Edible arrangement, Bitches need Edible arrangements.

Pamela Martha Focker

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