My first week of getting my ass kicked

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A true journey to wellness isn’t easy, so suck it up. Don’t be a punk ass bitch.

Yeah I say that to myself every time I can’t get out of the car, bed, and off the toilet.
I never ever considered myself to be fit, unless you consider ROTC (Marines) in high school five years ago (shhhh) close to being fit. Yeah I didn’t think so either.
Even knowing that I had an ass kicking coming my way I still said “fuck it”, I’m gonna take what’s coming to me like a champ.

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Day 1:
I threw up, like a bitch…
I’ve been told it’s not unusual for that to happen the first day. Well I popped my vomiting Wod cherry that day, and it felt good damn it. Lol

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Is this my knee, hell no...but I don't know you like that to show off my stumps. ♥

Day 2:
of fundementals, this shit happened.
I’m not the type of person who gives up easily but with certain things that effect my health, I’ll throw in the towel quick.

The motto is:

Check your ego at the door.

Well my ego is back at home, getting ready for a nap while watching Young and the restless. Yeah my ego is an asshole…

As y’all should know I have rheumatoid arthritis and because of that, I know what true pain is, and I really have fear of ever having it again. Hence the reason why I push my body to IT’S limits, not my brain’s limits.

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By the end of the second day of crossfit I realized I have a major knee problem. I actually figured the shit out when I was lifting myself from an air squat and started off on a 200 m run. That’s right I fell straight to my knee on concrete, did I stop? Fuck no. I wobbled my ass to the finish line. Funny thing is my knees don’t really hurt, they’re just weak ass bitches. My pep talks and words of praise don’t seem to help, so I started to call them obscene words. It’s sort of working.

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Then I have ultra fit hulkified crossfitters kicking ass around me, I decided to still fuck shit up, on what I feel is a gimp ass knee.

Did I do the WOD with no modifications?  Fuck no, wasn’t in the mood for months of therapy fucking up my knee, but I pushed myself to the point where I was actually telling my knees “fuck you”. It was a little weird running and yelling fuck you, but since when do I give a fuck?

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Day 3:

Knees a little better, kettleballs are dangerous for my lady balls. Seriously swinging that shit, I thought I’d die. The most difficult thing to do that day was the burpees, and modifying didn’t help, that’s right. I didn’t do all my reps :(.
Hey hey hey, I hear the roar of boos all the way over here, I’m not in crossfit to kill myself, I’m there to strengthen myself, suckas.

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The “bootylicious”,rock hard “everything” box owner Shondria Williamson, schooled me on what I was missing in my diet. Fish oil was a must for someone with any joint issues. She is super sweet-ish. The ish part comes from moving cones further away as previously noted. When we need to be pushed, she’s there to kick us into gear, or make us scream “shiiiiiit” out loud after the last 3 kettle ball swings. I actually need that…

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Day 4:
1600 meter run(check), timed shit.
My reps were 6/6/0/ fuck that shit,
Once again, I don’t claim to be a super fantastical crossfit fairy. I’m me… and “me” wanted to die of, not total knee weakness, but it was hot as fuck.  I smartened up and ate some bananas, drank some coconut water, and some fish oil (guhhhhh ross), which helped me get off the toilet the next day. Which is good because I was stuck on it for about 30-45 minutes, and almost ate the wall. Seriously, the worst pain is in my legs, and I want to wear a diaper this week.

That’s not weird.

Overall this week was a journey into what I need,which is:

● To fall, get back up,

● Push it, ( puh puh puh push it real good)

●understand my limits

● fear = weakness

● don’t wear t shirts, because it’s too hot, and ain’t nobody got time fo dat.

●wear a shit ton of deodorant because some people smelled ripe as fuck( not me, I secret outlast these hoes)

Special thanks to the trainers who help my ass….seriously.

Btw, I love how crossfit makes every muscle hurt, even the ones who didn’t think you had.
That’s right, I have a buttcrack muscle.

Now on to week 2.

For my followers from IG and FB:

Welcome to the thug dome, bitches

If you live in the Houston area drop me a line.

I plan on doing a local box review this week…awesome place great atmosphere, and they have a morning “Milf” workout… which I should be at, because I like to work out in the mornings (see what I did there?)

If you own a box, and want me to review it, email me and we can set something up.

Now on to make breakfast.

Keep it thuggish,ruggish, and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

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11 thoughts on “My first week of getting my ass kicked

  1. I cross fit. Have been for three months. 3.5 inches gone. I have arthritis, bad knees. Surgery on both. I do marathons, duathlons, and other races. Finding out my mobility is more of my problem at my box, we work on mobility(look up mobilitywod) . Modifying workouts I do it every time I go. I can’t rope climb yet,or pull up yet, I have a hard time with jumping rope because of my knees, I end up doing step ups.
    But I love it. Like you, there are days I can not get up off the toilet!
    Paleo love it. Sugar free now 6 weeks. Small victories. Arthritis no pain.
    Have a great Monday.

    • Paleo really helped me, I was taking pain pills every single day. From Narco to hydrocodone. Which made no sense. So I changed. If you can do this…I’m definitely doing this. Now you’re MY inspiration! ♥♥♥♥♥♥

  2. I want to do crossfit, the only one who ever worked me out like that was my Dad in highscool and I freakin ROCKED! Btw your thing about eating the wall while on the throne had me roflmao! 😀 Thanks for keeping it real! I wish we had crossfit here! Come to Carlsbad, NM SOMEBODY PLEASE! 😀

  3. I fucking LOVE YOU! This makes me wish I lived in Houston so we could fumble our way through WODs whilst muttering obscenities at various failing body parts and pieces of iron and rubber. But I’m a pansy when it comes to heat, so I’ll just have to stay tucked away up here in rainy WA.

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