I told you I wasn’t perfect.


You think you’re so perfect,nobody knows who you really are…

Although that quote from a piece of shit, it held some truth to it.

I don’t talk about my struggles because, well, I don’t think you guys wanna hear about it. We all struggle with our weight,appearance, and our “food demons”. Especially if you’re addicted to sugar.

So last year was a roller coaster of shit…business slowed down a shit ton, my one employee went bat shit crazy on me because I wanted her to work (I know…stupid shit),I had flare ups,and I cheated.

Yes I cheat…I’m not perfect.

Last year I jumped off the wagon and went about ten miles down the road to catch a plane to the Antarctic. Seriously guys,I fucked up.

I gained half my weight I lost in the last two years,my flare ups were a daily thing,thyroid was on the fritz,and overall I felt like garbage.

Once I stepped back and realized how much damage to myself, I said fuck it. For the month of December I ate everything that I loved. Pizza,tacos,cookies,ice cream,pies,pizza,burgers,yogurt,chips,pizza and more pizza.

All while doing this I made sure to love myself…because depression can keep you in this spot and it doesn’t matter how much you know things can change with better food choices,if you feel bad emotionally…you will look bad.

I did this “experiment” for a couple of reasons:
-get my cravings out of the way
-jump start my clean life

My plan is to live a “Whole” year…not the whole year…but a Whole365.

That’s right, whole30 for 365 days…

We’ve been consumed in what we are told to eat…such as Paleo cookies,cakes,pies,breads that we forget why we started to eat differently in the first place. Literally all we are doing to paying more for the same shit. I don’t judge those who eat all this, it just makes me feel bad in the physical sense. As much as I love my banana nut muffins,the maple sugar,nuts and honey cause me physical pain.

Then!!! You have the assholes who dissect the word “Paleo”.


That’s the outsiders AND insiders!

White potato isn’t Paleo,but it’s whole30…

Truth is, food isn’t about a fucking list…it’s about how it makes you feel. I know you guys are probably like:

but you just said you’re doing a whole30?

I won’t even eat white potatoes, and no peas. In the grand scheme of things…I’m just eating real food…the “Whole30” label is just that:
A fucking label!

We are becoming the “low fat”,”fat free” generation with it now being “Gluten free”,”dairy free” shit.

It’s not bad but we gotta simplify this a little more than it is. If you eat meats,fruits,veggies,nuts,fish etc etc…isn’t that just “watching what you eat”?
I love what Paleo has done for me,but the word is tainted. I actually plan on making a new name and site. The word has meaning but has lost it’s meaning at the same time.

I’m not saying this because I hate the Paleo community, because that’s far from the truth. I’ve made life long friends with so many authors, and I’m happy and proud to call them homies.
I just want different for my readers,but the same thing. Paleo,but without the dissection? How food makes you feel is how you know you should or shouldn’t be eating it.



The new site (once it’s fully functional and up) will detail my life as I live whole365. Which I gotta say,so far, has me moody as fuck.


So to all the back stabbing bitches, thots, and assholes of 2014 (I’m talking about 1-2 people in those lovely descriptive words), thank you for the stress which caused stress eating. You have shown me, I’m not perfect and I will show you how I get shit done.

Pamela Martha Focker

7 thoughts on “I told you I wasn’t perfect.

  1. This food shit is a bitch. I have also gained back about half the weight I lost after discovering the Whole30 then Paleo two years ago. I’ve been toying with the idea of a Whole365, cause let’s face it, I don’t do moderation well…80%/20% my ass. I’m on Team Pamela Martha Focker and look forward to following along and cheering you on in your next chapter. Happy New Year!

  2. I got nothin but love for ya!

    I think it’s great you’re being honest, but it’s not necessary. Fuck the haters. Eat a cookie, eat 6, have some fijoles with a corn tortilla. Yes, I said corn 🙂 it will be ok. Do what makes you and yours happy. Sometimes our inner thoughts are the asshole. Be kind to yourself 🙂


  3. Dude… I’ve been racking my DAMN BRAIN ALL FUCKING DAY trying to figure out how to meal plan MY AI/Paleo/Whole30 protocol while still feeding a 15 year old dumpster (he’s an athlete who eats EVERYTHING), a 10 year old boy who is picky (I mean, what kid won’t eat a CHEESEBURGER?) and a 4 year old… (dare I even SAY how ridiculous it is to feed those ankle biters?) And yeah, when you’re looking at lists at what you can eat…what you can’t eat… paleo… whole 30… autoimmune…my head hurts and I feel like my whole fucking day has been wasted…and then I read this…and you keep it real… and people nit pick apart everything and they all deserve a throat punch. Keep it real…do what you gotta do… and yeah… I’m drinking a Diet Coke and I had a donut today… I feel ya! LOL Do good!

  4. Just discovered your site and I just want to say thank you for this post. I decided to eat gluten free about a year ago to try to feel better (autoimmune thyroid) and found that it helped. Didn’t lose weight but I feel better and am happier. Thanks for reminding me that I don’t need to justify that.

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