Dear Focker, I’m craving a hotdog….
That’s right, Hashtagpaleo has launched, and now’s the time to submit your questions I’ll answer 5 each Friday. I’ll choose them by the most asked question or the most appropriate, or if you make my tummy tickle. Which is a must, because I like that kind of stuff.
Take it easy people, I can’t curse. I keep it PG-13 on there, which means I can only say the F-word (
fuck) 3 times….still trying to figure out if that’s in each post, or sentence?
Time to revert to the 5 year old me, before I wrote this ↑↑↑↑
Censorship makes my
balls vagina itch (insert This girl’s on fire), but I wanna answer the shit poop outta y’all’s questions.
thuggish, ruggish, and toned
Pamela Martha Focker
aka The Pissin’ All The Time Crew
Guzzle up, Bitches! You know that soda is complete shit. (I just poured a can of cola down my shower drain to unclog it. Yumm!) But still… water is so damn… plain. You gave up crap, not your tastebuds. How the hell you gonna guzzle a gallon of water a day?!
Answer: Infuse dat shit! Pick your favorite fruit or berries, stuff them in you jar or water bottle, cover with water, and steep for at least 30 minutes in the fridge. Then sip away all day. You can even keep refilling your water over the same fruit for a day or so. Use your imaginations and add fresh herbs or green tea. You can even double down and keep your water cool with ice cubes stuffed with fruit. And it’s not just flavor you’re adding. Check out what some of this flavor enhancing shit is doing for you:
Lemon flushes out nasty shit from your body, aids weight loss, and balances the body’s pH.
Strawberry-kiwi aids in blood sugar regulation, digestion, and gives your immune system a mutha fucking jump start.
Cucumber-lime-lemon hydrates, helps get rid of bloating (ladies, you know when you need to be drinking this, right?), and helps with appetite control.
Mint-lime-green tea aids in fat burning, digestion, congestion and gets rid of… ahem… stank breath.
Bonus tip ‘cuz I care: Kegel, Kegel, Kegel! And cross your legs when you sneeze.
ginger – mango
cucumber – mint
lemon – ginger
pineapple – mint
strawberry – kiwi
watermelon – mint
raspberry – lime
ginger – mint – lime