Oh shit

2014-01-02 12.38.25

So I know we’ve been missed, sorry… with being consumed in building my own business and having people try to tell me how to run it… Kicking people’s asses does take up some time.

Ok so I wanted to make this post regarding another reason why I have been MIA:

I have some haters, gasp… yes haters. Apparently I sound like Thug Kitchen, never mind the fact that I’ve been cursing like a sailor since before it was considered badass…

Do I care? Fuck no. Do I want the bull shit to stop? Fuck yes.

I am not like thug kitchen, I am me. I curse at least once a day and no more than 10 minutes after waking up… seriously it’s a bitch finding your bra on in the dark.

I wish Thug Kitchen the best but bitch… eat some bacon, that’s why you are so angry.

Life isn’t complete unless you eat some bacon… can’t do that soy shit… crazy me, but I don’t like GMO bullshit ass food.

NEXT!

I noticed an influx of new views on here, it’s obviously for free tips and recipes for Paleo or whole30. I have posted a couple of recipes on here and plan on doing some more soon. Note the word “some”

I will give you one solid tip for going Paleo and/or Whole30:

Stay away from Wal-mart because it’s obvious they want to give you the shits.

Now let’s fuck up 2014

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and toned

Pamela Martha Focker

Advertisements

What the fucking fuck!

image

Oh I’ll just make some extra money to pay for crossfit, no big deal.

What a crock of shit,  seriously just shit.
So I’ve been MIA for months,  I’m sorry I have neglected you my little thuggsters.

Truth is, what I thought would be a small time gig of meal prepping for a few friends has turned into a company bigger than I ever knew was possible.

I went from meal prepping 45 meals to prepping over 300 in one day.

Now I can’t complain,  my main goal for starting all this shit was to bring awareness to people. Let them see how food really has an impact on your day to day living. 
You can either wake up feeling awesome after a 100% Paleo day or you can shit yourself after engulfing your face with nasty as fuck, McDonalds.

Your choice.

image

Mama is feeling neglected. My poor baby doesn’t get her picture taken as much. Oh but she lets me know that when she lays her 75 pound behemoth ass right on me.

I love what I do, I love making people happy.

In the end that makes it worth it.

Eat my food and don’t shit yourself.

http://www.NoRepMealPrep.com
http://www.facebook.com/NoRepMealPrep

Keep it thuggish ruggish and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

Aint nothing wrong, being strong.

image

I want to do Crossfit, I’m just afraid to get big and bulky.

Really?
So you rather be limp, skinny, untoned and just blah?

I used to have that mentality, men are to look strong,women are to look dainty and shit. Then I cut my Barbie’s hair off and put my brother’s G.I.Joe gear on her.

image

Sarena coach of crossfit propel in Pearland, Tx

Why should we stay in a certain place?
Why can’t we be cute and still able to kick your ass?

image

Take for example my friend and fellow Paleo blogger Stephanie of http://www.stupideasypaleo.com
She’s an amazing crossfitter and even though she can man handle a bar….

image

…beast mode through pullups getting her team through to the next round of regionals…

image

… she can still look cute and cook the shit out of anything.

image

As a society we are consumed with looking like the model on the most recent runway, WHY!?!?

If Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Briggs got into a fight, guess who’s going down?

Why be weak?
Strong is the new sexy, bitches!

image

Shondria owner of Crossfit Graffiti in Houston, tx

So stop wanting to be the bitch on the cover of PEOPLE magazine, be that girl who can kick her ass.

image

Rise up ladies, be strong, be beautiful be crossfit.

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and fucking toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

My first month of crossfit…done

image

I won’t be able to do this, I should give up before I hurt myself

Ha! Who would of thought that I’d have said that on my second day of Crossfit bootcamp?
I was scared, my knees were weak and I felt horrible about being last.
The fact that the coaches had to modify wasn’t any better.

I’m glad I didn’t give up because I feel like a fucking beast, seriously like nothing can stop me.
I think about how far I have come and I cry, literally I’m on the toilet crying. Not sure if that’s because of the situation or that my legs are on fire. Either way it makes me happy.

I know there is a lot of people in my same position, wondering if they could do it, doubting themselves, wanting to quit after the first day. Well I’m here to tell you, if I can do it, you can. A year ago I was sick..I was at my fattest I was at my lowest. I took medication after medication and nothing helped.
I’m grateful to see my own progress through Paleo, but thrilled at my progress in Crossfit.

image

I’ve never felt like I accomplished much in life (besides graduation, associates in science, changing the occasionally pamper in the middle of the night) but with the gift of Paleo and Crossfit I feel so much I can do and have done.

To go from not finishing the WOD and throwing up, to beasting the shit out of an AMRAP WOD. I’ve accomplished my life, my health and most of all my love for crossfit.

Through the smells,”fuuuuuck”s,”shit”s, and sweat soaked t-shirts and head bands, I’m a crossfit addict.

And I’m proud to say I started my roots in a damn good place. Shondria from Crossfit Graffiti, along with my coaches: Amy(who’s single and very beautiful), Ana, and Juan, who kicked the living shit out of me and didn’t let me quit. To the awesome friends I made who told me ” Don’t be a bitch” (thanks Ashley, Jennifer, and Dallas)when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.

image

It’s because of you all and my loving supportive husband that I made myself push through to the next rep.

Oh not to mention my kids “showing” me the proper way to do a burpee…♥

From one box to another, I’m joining one of the first indoor crossfit gyms in my area, and as long as I feed them chocolate thunder they promise to kick my ass… this should be fun.

Watch out Crossfit Propel!

Don’t let yourself, keep yourself, from finding yourself.

Crossfit isn’t for everyone, like bitches…
You’re not a bitch… so get to it, stop waiting.

Now on to month two.. who’s coming with me?

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

My first week of getting my ass kicked

image

A true journey to wellness isn’t easy, so suck it up. Don’t be a punk ass bitch.

Yeah I say that to myself every time I can’t get out of the car, bed, and off the toilet.
I never ever considered myself to be fit, unless you consider ROTC (Marines) in high school five years ago (shhhh) close to being fit. Yeah I didn’t think so either.
Even knowing that I had an ass kicking coming my way I still said “fuck it”, I’m gonna take what’s coming to me like a champ.

image

Day 1:
I threw up, like a bitch…
I’ve been told it’s not unusual for that to happen the first day. Well I popped my vomiting Wod cherry that day, and it felt good damn it. Lol

image

Is this my knee, hell no...but I don't know you like that to show off my stumps. ♥

Day 2:
of fundementals, this shit happened.
I’m not the type of person who gives up easily but with certain things that effect my health, I’ll throw in the towel quick.

The motto is:

Check your ego at the door.

Well my ego is back at home, getting ready for a nap while watching Young and the restless. Yeah my ego is an asshole…

As y’all should know I have rheumatoid arthritis and because of that, I know what true pain is, and I really have fear of ever having it again. Hence the reason why I push my body to IT’S limits, not my brain’s limits.

image

By the end of the second day of crossfit I realized I have a major knee problem. I actually figured the shit out when I was lifting myself from an air squat and started off on a 200 m run. That’s right I fell straight to my knee on concrete, did I stop? Fuck no. I wobbled my ass to the finish line. Funny thing is my knees don’t really hurt, they’re just weak ass bitches. My pep talks and words of praise don’t seem to help, so I started to call them obscene words. It’s sort of working.

image

Then I have ultra fit hulkified crossfitters kicking ass around me, I decided to still fuck shit up, on what I feel is a gimp ass knee.

Did I do the WOD with no modifications?  Fuck no, wasn’t in the mood for months of therapy fucking up my knee, but I pushed myself to the point where I was actually telling my knees “fuck you”. It was a little weird running and yelling fuck you, but since when do I give a fuck?

image

Day 3:

Knees a little better, kettleballs are dangerous for my lady balls. Seriously swinging that shit, I thought I’d die. The most difficult thing to do that day was the burpees, and modifying didn’t help, that’s right. I didn’t do all my reps :(.
Hey hey hey, I hear the roar of boos all the way over here, I’m not in crossfit to kill myself, I’m there to strengthen myself, suckas.

image

The “bootylicious”,rock hard “everything” box owner Shondria Williamson, schooled me on what I was missing in my diet. Fish oil was a must for someone with any joint issues. She is super sweet-ish. The ish part comes from moving cones further away as previously noted. When we need to be pushed, she’s there to kick us into gear, or make us scream “shiiiiiit” out loud after the last 3 kettle ball swings. I actually need that…

image

Day 4:
1600 meter run(check), timed shit.
My reps were 6/6/0/ fuck that shit,
Once again, I don’t claim to be a super fantastical crossfit fairy. I’m me… and “me” wanted to die of, not total knee weakness, but it was hot as fuck.  I smartened up and ate some bananas, drank some coconut water, and some fish oil (guhhhhh ross), which helped me get off the toilet the next day. Which is good because I was stuck on it for about 30-45 minutes, and almost ate the wall. Seriously, the worst pain is in my legs, and I want to wear a diaper this week.

That’s not weird.

Overall this week was a journey into what I need,which is:

● To fall, get back up,

● Push it, ( puh puh puh push it real good)

●understand my limits

● fear = weakness

● don’t wear t shirts, because it’s too hot, and ain’t nobody got time fo dat.

●wear a shit ton of deodorant because some people smelled ripe as fuck( not me, I secret outlast these hoes)

Special thanks to the trainers who help my ass….seriously.

Btw, I love how crossfit makes every muscle hurt, even the ones who didn’t think you had.
That’s right, I have a buttcrack muscle.

Now on to week 2.

For my followers from IG and FB:

Welcome to the thug dome, bitches

If you live in the Houston area drop me a line.

I plan on doing a local box review this week…awesome place great atmosphere, and they have a morning “Milf” workout… which I should be at, because I like to work out in the mornings (see what I did there?)

If you own a box, and want me to review it, email me and we can set something up.

Now on to make breakfast.

Keep it thuggish,ruggish, and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

Hunt and gather on a budget

image

My butcher sees into the window to my soul… of my stomach

I’ve become accustomed to greeting my butcher guys – hell one calls me Momma and my love pickle Poppa. I know he’s just being friendly, and if I didn’t gain cheap meat because of his friendliness, I’d think he’s a complete asshole because I’m not that old. Fuck it. I get half priced meats 75% of the time, call me whatever you like. So when I go into HEB I look at expiration dates for two reasons. Here’s reason number one:

The store loses money when food goes out of date and marking stuff down gets product out before the sell by date.

Usually people don’t like expensive organic meats, so there is always tons of mark downs waiting for me. The best time to look for markdowns varies. It depends on sales. They don’t markdown on the new sale days, so in HEB’s case, Wednesday. It doesn’t really pertain to me because the butchers hold marked down meat for me… 🙂

image

So today’s trip was awesome as fuck. 7 steaks, original price $57.30 total, sale price $28.38! That’s a savings of $28.92! $28.38 couldn’t pay for a grassfed ribeye anywhere, but I got 5 ribeyes and 2 stip steaks. $4.05 per steak?! I lost my shit in the middle of the meat department.
I do this often, in fact too often, other employees are bitter that I snagged meat for cheap while they are working… I feel bad don’t give a shit.

image

I have a freezer full of fucking awesomeness, and you can be jealous as fuck. I know I would be.

Second reason I look at expiration dates:

At HEB stores they have a policy in effect stating the following:
HEB guarantees quality and freshness in our product, if you are not satisfied or the product isn’t fresh (expired) you get the same exact item for free.

Now I used to bombard the fuck out of HEB with finding expired stuff, especially high quality meat. People don’t want to pay $40-$50 for an organic brisket so it expires, I find it… I get a fresh one for free. Today I wasn’t looking for any expired items, but found organic sugar snap peas and I got them bitches for free.
If you have questions about this policy you can call or email corporate.

image

My meal prep for this week is roughly $2.10 per meal… Subway can go fuck themselves.

Moral of the story?
All stores have a way for you to find some good deals… just figure the shit out. Paleo and whole30 isn’t expensive if you work the deals and sales.

Keep it thuggish, ruggish, and cheapish.

Pamela Martha Focker

Whole30 AND Crossfit wtf am I thinking?

image

Holy shit balls Batman, I’ve done lost my ever loving mind!

So if you follow me on IG you know most of my food consists of “Paleo-ized” junk food. Now when I say Paleo junk food, it doesn’t mean it’s not Paleo. It just mean shit that looks and tastes like it’s not Paleo.  Cookies, banana bread, Chocolate Thunder cake, waffles…. yep all that isn’t Whole30 approved. Am I sad about it? No, and it’s because I haven’t been feeling up to par lately. I’ve lost my spunk, and I’m not sure if it’s me missing my Love Pickle who’s been in and out of town for the last month or the new sweeteners I’ve introduced to my body. I’d rather not say what those are (they’re Paleo), but not every body reacts the same. Mine just so happens to be acting like a major bitch is all… Sorry body… I ♥ you. So besides the Paleo junk, I’m good to go on this “thang” and make it my bitch.

Crossfit: definition of getting yo ass whooped, and I need it. Sweating isn’t to lose weight, (other than water weight) but its more releasing toxins in your body, which I need…obviously.
So Groupon accepted my challenge and I got a sweet ass deal that’s just a few minutes from my house. Am I scared? Fuck yes. Am I gonna kill it? Fuck yes Probably not, but its worth a try. I have a couple of cheerleaders already.

Moral of the story?

Get yo shit right! Nobody is going to tell you what you need to do, but your own body. So get right and tight… well in my case firm….ish.

Love you, bitches!♥

Keep it thuggish, ruggish, and toned
Pamela Martha Focker