You need my balls in your mouth


There’s something so therapeutic about rolling balls between my hands.

I’ve been really stressed this week. Seriously, shit has been hitting the fan left and right. I may be more excited for school to end than my kids. I’m ready for the the kids and I to wake up whenever the hell we want, play all day, then slap shit on the grill and call it dinner while the kids run naked through the sprinklers and we call that a bath. Hope the neighbors don’t judge. Oh, who we kidding?! I’ll be sipping something tequila and not giving a fuck. But back to my balls…

I used to make truffles at a catering company I worked for years ago – chocolately, full of cream and tasty liquors, rolled in all kinds of delicious. I found it very relaxing, zoning out for hours rolling ball after ball of chocolate love. Anyway, my sweet tooth kicks into high gear when I’m stressed. Here’s my Paleo answer to truffle therapy.

Tools: Blender or food processor

1 c almonds
2 c dates
2 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa
Shredded coconut (for rolling)

1. Toss the almonds in the blender and pulse that shit until it’s coarsely ground. Go coarser if you want to be biting nuts, finer if you just like the nutty taste without the crunch. Your nuts, I won’t judge.

2. Add the dates and cocoa and chop until you’ve got a well mixed ball of ‘dough’.

3. Grease your hands (I used coconut oil, of course) and start rolling tablespoon sized balls.

4. Roll the balls in coconut or more cocoa.


Just try rolling all of them without popping a few in your mouth. My kids liked these too, so I gave them a couple and said they were the last ones so I didn’t have to share. #smartmom