Gallon Gang


aka The Pissin’ All The Time Crew

Guzzle up, Bitches! You know that soda is complete shit. (I just poured a can of cola down my shower drain to unclog it. Yumm!) But still… water is so damn… plain. You gave up crap, not your tastebuds. How the hell you gonna guzzle a gallon of water a day?!

Answer: Infuse dat shit! Pick your favorite fruit or berries, stuff them in you jar or water bottle, cover with water, and steep for at least 30 minutes in the fridge. Then sip away all day. You can even keep refilling your water over the same fruit for a day or so. Use your imaginations and add fresh herbs or green tea. You can even double down and keep your water cool with ice cubes stuffed with fruit. And it’s not just flavor you’re adding. Check out what some of this flavor enhancing shit is doing for you:

Lemon flushes out nasty shit from your body, aids weight loss, and balances the body’s pH.
Strawberry-kiwi aids in blood sugar regulation, digestion, and gives your immune system a mutha fucking jump start.
Cucumber-lime-lemon hydrates, helps get rid of bloating (ladies, you know when you need to be drinking this, right?), and helps with appetite control.
Mint-lime-green tea aids in fat burning, digestion, congestion and gets rid of… ahem… stank breath.

Bonus tip ‘cuz I care: Kegel, Kegel, Kegel! And cross your legs when you sneeze.




  • ginger – mango
  • cucumber – mint
  • melons
  • lemon – ginger
  • pineapple – mint
  • strawberry – kiwi
  • watermelon – mint
  • raspberry – lime
  • ginger – mint – lime
  • Whole30 day 2: fuck me running


    I’m going to make Whole30 my bitch best friend.

    Being Paleo, you’d figure this would be simple, and it is, as far as eating goes. I’ve made my change months ago and wanting a double stuffed Oreo isn’t an issue. My issue seems to be fatigue, and the feeling of just overall shittiness.

    The only thing I have changed in my diet is sugar, and Paleo approved sugar at that! Sugars such as: organic maple syrup, raw coconut nectar sugar, and honey. Now what gets me is, if all this shit is “paleo-approved” why do I feel like a straight up crack-head? Sweating and yawning like Felicia.


    It really makes me think about my choices for my Paleo treats in the future. Even though I can’t live without my chocolate thunder cake, limiting it to once in a while is okay.

    Whole30 has shown me what I’m doing wrong in my life.

    Moral of the story:
    Everything in moderation is the way of a healthy life.
    Unless you want to be like Felicia, and in that case, you CAN’T borrow my car.

    Keep it thuggish, ruggish, and fuck this shit because I need a nap,

    Felicia Pamela Martha Focker