Turning 18+11 never felt so good

 

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You only turn 18 once,but in my case at least 15 times.

Ugh,for some odd reason, and I’m sure I’m not the only mother fucker to believe this, but I hate my birthday. I’m not sure if it all started when my mom had my 6th birthday at McDonald’s, and Ronald smelled of day old liquor and dingle berries. Not to mention,the mother fucker scared the hell outta me with all that lipstick. Looking back maybe it was because I knew what the fuck was really going on in those cheeseburgers. The hamburgular could take my shit any day… I actually liked his ass.

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So that was my birthday dinner last year, sirloin steak cooked medium, with a loaded sweet potato and a side salad. I had about 2 pina colodas with that shit too. It’s amazing how I can look back at the mistakes I’ve made with my health and love who I am now. I have started to fight for myself and for a good life.

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 I miss the hell outta bread,seriously these rolls were served with my steak, and I literally use to ask my husband to order some and pick them up,just because I felt like eating the fuckers. There comes a time in your life when you can say, why the fuck do I want this shit so much?

Why do you drink coke so much?

Why do you eat bullshit?

Its addiction,and the worst part is that unlike other addictions, you need food to survive, but you don’t need bullshit like you think you need.

There is a difference between “wants” and “needs” and yo ass don’t need that shit

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I was kind of tough to please this year, according to my husband,who slept on the couch after saying that shit. I didn’t want just any steak,it had to be the premium ass shit,none of all crap that’s always on sale. I was actually lucky because my jar of ghee from www.omghee.com arrived. My birthday steak was one of the best,if not the best, steaks I’ve ever had. Although I was picky this year,I know that my life just seems more precious than all the years before. Which seems weird because you’d figure that as someone young you would figure out what you should and shouldnt do. I guess I just wanted to do what I wanted, I was a stupid ass, and because of it I suffered.

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Remember where you came from when your birthday comes around,don’t give up a day to return to your old ways. It’s really not worth it. Some people like cheat days,I try not to,in fact there was only one day I did. I had diarrhea for days,and it was green. Blue dye does that shit to me…

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Now just to wait for WWW.PALEOCUPBOARD.COM to send me this watermelon cake, then I’ll be set till I turn 30..which is less than a year now..

Doesnt that mean im entitled to a male stripper or something?

I mean who doesn’t like buttnakedness?

Keep it thuggish,ruggish and toned,

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Pamela Martha Focker

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McDiet? More like McFullofshit!

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He must be dehydrated from diarrhea he’s had from eating azodicarbonamide, eating a big mac every other day.

So I came across an article from USA today, and this SHIT right here just straight pissed me the fuck off.
If America isn’t already trying to “fast-food” their asses off already, this mother fucker comes out with this shit.

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McDonald’s and diet don’t go hand in hand, not even the new “premium” Chicken wraps bullshit, because it’s obvious that green label is just a way to fool you into thinking it’s “healthy”.

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Now I didnt post that picture saying to eat a quarter pounder over a “premium” chicken club because in the end they BOTH have more calories than the Big Mac and all three contain bullshit.

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The one ingredient in all that shit that should make you shit yourself is: azodicarbonamide, a flammable chemical that is used in a shit ton of fast food breads (even your precious Subway, that bastard Jared is just like this Ceo mother fucker). For fuck sake, Singapore has some pretty severe penalties like up to 15 years in prison and $450,000 fine. So something is up, when is America going to catch up?
So then you might be thinking: “Well this bitch done fucked up my late night fast food run, I’ll ask for no bun then”.

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Look at all that fucking sugar and that hidden sugar shit too. What the fuck is vegetable protein?  Soy? Hmmm over 90% of America’s sources for soy are GMOs, and children we all know that’s gross as fuck.

So you might be thinking: “Fuck it, I’ll eat it and work it off the next day”.

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Well your best bet is to swim your ass off. I can’t swim for shit. I straight up wade in the water.
In the end it’s not about calories, it’s about the quality of your life.
You can’t expect a great quality of life eating additives and preservatives.

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I’d blend the fuck outta these fruits, granted it’s sugar, but it’s natural sugar.  None of that stupid ass corn syrup, or any -ose bullshit. 

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Is all the food available at McDonald’s bad? No. I think the lettuce seems safe.
If you’re not gonna worry about your health, McDonald’s sure as hell doesn’t give a fuck.

Moral of the story:

Don’t be a bitch, and buy McDonald’s bullshit.

.. oh and azodicarbonamide is found in yoga mats. NAMASTE MOTHA FUCKAS!!

Keep it thuggish ruggish and McDonald’s free

Pamela Martha Focker

I say the shit you won’t say.

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The movie Wall-e has reality to it.

Don’t bitch about what you can change!

When I seen the picture of these two (clearly obese) people ordering off their, what I assume is a Hover round, I was livid!
Am I completely fit? No. Do I still have a long way to go? Yes. Would you catch me in fast food lines? Fuck no.
I have come a long way, from being very sick with at least 3 things that were life threatening or required a shit ton of meds. For fuck sake, I was on chemotherapy medications! I found whole30/Paleo through my “snatch” doctor(I know fucking weird..who gives a shit…lol). He thought I was too young to be suffering so much and at my highest weight ever ( even through pregnancy) I realized: fuck this shit, I want better for my life and kids…I’m in complete control of me and I won’t be a mother fucking statistic.

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Do I judge people at the grocery store. Unfortunately yes. I hate thay about myself now. I see kids with parents who feed them over processed foods and call it nutritional. It’s so heart wrenching to believe that a change to the parents is a change to the future of humanity. If we continue with the “large is the new small” era, then we will all end up in scooters and wondering where did we go wrong.  If we don’t change the shit we do now, expect sickness in our children, expect daily medications, expect an early death, expect a horrible fucking life. My life was fucking horrible, I was in pain every day, I almost ended my marriage because I felt guilt of feeling helpless by my illnesses.

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Change doesn’t need to happen for a reason, or for a fucking season.  Change needs to start because your bitch ass is better than a double meat and cheese burger, because corporate America doesn’t need your money. Farms owned by familes need your money. McDonald’s doesn’t give a fuck if you get sick and die. You passed on your addictions to the next generation with false ideas of a “better breakfast” or bullshit toys in a box.
Get your mind right for our future and most importantly because you don’t want to be the one in a fast food lane ordering food on your scooter.

Moral of the story:

Bitch, put that punk ass burger down, and eat a grassfed ribeye. Corporate America hates it, but I love it. Fuck you McDonald’s!

Keep it thuggish, ruggish, and bullshit free,

Pamela Martha Focker