Where in the fuck did we go wrong?


I’ll have what the turd slinging primate is having please.

So it’s been a while since I’ve been on a trip to the Houston Zoo with all 3 of my “chirrrens”. I have to say that I couldn’t believe how blind of a life I was living before I turned to a Paleo lifestyle. Before I would get my kids ice cream and complete bullshit and now I realize that I was led to believe that eating this was acceptable because we were at the zoo.


Then I see shit like this.


Boxes and boxes of lettuce and kale all over the mother fucking place, but we are not the type of species to eat shit like this or what?

099No our diet and needs are ice cream…

092dipping dots, $2.59 water that tends to be free most of the time.

093Cokes,floats and bullshit drinks that’s toxic to the animals in the zoo but not for the ones visiting the zoo. Fuck logic right?

030 It’s a damn shame that you can see the animals at the zoo that should be on your plate. I know.. barbaric, but I can’t remember someone saying eating fish damages the world in some apocalyptic way and we’ll all die from it. Coke cans,ice cream wrappers,plastic bottles…hmm that actually does fuck shit up. The fish got lucky that day, my daughter was watching…

050If only these bananas would have been ready for picking. I would have snatched up a bundle while wandering in the monkey exhibit. At this point (3 hours in) I was already hungry looking at boxes of yummy shit,watching a fish tease me with its meaty goodness…the ice cream wasnt looking too bad at this point.. or the expensive ass water. I felt bad for my daughter who had to see all these junk bitch food around, she kept saying “Mommy,all that food makes you poop on yourself,right?”, which at that point I felt proud,she knew.



Mommy why does all the animals eat food like you?

It was hard to try to explain corporate America to her.. and needless to say she was confused. I don’t expect her to know just yet why fuckers do the things they do when they know better,but at least I can say I taught her to question everything she eats or whats around her.

It’s just sad knowing that the animals we pay to see know better than we do. What does that say about us? Are we so consumed with complete bullshit and eat what is feed to us? Who are the animals here? We eat processed foods and consider it “okay”. I for one am sick of the fucking shit. Don’t leave the fucking box of kale around me, Houston Zoo, cause I’ll eat that shit. Don’t leave pallets full of watermelon, cause I’ll fuck em all up.  When are y’all assholes gonna realize what you’re doing to our already fucked up future?


Luckily for y’all and the rest of the animals,I brought my own shit,does that mean I can now “feed the animals,since it is what you feed them? Or is it the food you feed others that you don’t want them to have,but okay to feed MY children? BITCH PLEASE!


It’s just nice to know that the primates that play with their shit and obsessively fondle their peckers, get fed better than the dumbass who paid to see that.

Just so you know. We all are the dumbass. You’re welcome.

Keep it thuggish,ruggish,and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker