PaleoFX 2014

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I plan on getting totally kombucha wasted with my people.

PaleoFX, if you’re Paleo…then you’re there. I met so many new faces (because names I will never remember) and realized a couple of things:

1. I’m THE baby of Paleo blogging and I hate that shit.
2. Most Paleo bloggers envy the fact that I can say fuck more than once in a fucking sentence. <~ just like that.

So I decided that I would change those two things around.
I'm putting up recipes(even though I hate that shit),posting up material at least 2-3 times a week and starting a series…that may or may not be a long series depending on the feedback on it. It will be called "Tell me how you really feel" and I'll invite some awesome Paleo bloggers to tell me how they really feel about,well being a blogger,while totally being able to say shit,fuck,and douchebag.

I finally wanted to start a podcast… Because my voice needs to be heard. The airwaves should have me on it saying "fuck you gluten,you give me gas and I nearly shit myself" like every single day.
Am I right?

I want y'all's opinion. I have my own business and have a family, but will make an effort to make this happen.

Let me know bitches!

keep it thuggish,thuggish and toned

Pamela Martha Focker

Oh shit

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So I know we’ve been missed, sorry… with being consumed in building my own business and having people try to tell me how to run it… Kicking people’s asses does take up some time.

Ok so I wanted to make this post regarding another reason why I have been MIA:

I have some haters, gasp… yes haters. Apparently I sound like Thug Kitchen, never mind the fact that I’ve been cursing like a sailor since before it was considered badass…

Do I care? Fuck no. Do I want the bull shit to stop? Fuck yes.

I am not like thug kitchen, I am me. I curse at least once a day and no more than 10 minutes after waking up… seriously it’s a bitch finding your bra on in the dark.

I wish Thug Kitchen the best but bitch… eat some bacon, that’s why you are so angry.

Life isn’t complete unless you eat some bacon… can’t do that soy shit… crazy me, but I don’t like GMO bullshit ass food.

NEXT!

I noticed an influx of new views on here, it’s obviously for free tips and recipes for Paleo or whole30. I have posted a couple of recipes on here and plan on doing some more soon. Note the word “some”

I will give you one solid tip for going Paleo and/or Whole30:

Stay away from Wal-mart because it’s obvious they want to give you the shits.

Now let’s fuck up 2014

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and toned

Pamela Martha Focker

What the fucking fuck!

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Oh I’ll just make some extra money to pay for crossfit, no big deal.

What a crock of shit,  seriously just shit.
So I’ve been MIA for months,  I’m sorry I have neglected you my little thuggsters.

Truth is, what I thought would be a small time gig of meal prepping for a few friends has turned into a company bigger than I ever knew was possible.

I went from meal prepping 45 meals to prepping over 300 in one day.

Now I can’t complain,  my main goal for starting all this shit was to bring awareness to people. Let them see how food really has an impact on your day to day living. 
You can either wake up feeling awesome after a 100% Paleo day or you can shit yourself after engulfing your face with nasty as fuck, McDonalds.

Your choice.

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Mama is feeling neglected. My poor baby doesn’t get her picture taken as much. Oh but she lets me know that when she lays her 75 pound behemoth ass right on me.

I love what I do, I love making people happy.

In the end that makes it worth it.

Eat my food and don’t shit yourself.

http://www.NoRepMealPrep.com
http://www.facebook.com/NoRepMealPrep

Keep it thuggish ruggish and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

Aint nothing wrong, being strong.

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I want to do Crossfit, I’m just afraid to get big and bulky.

Really?
So you rather be limp, skinny, untoned and just blah?

I used to have that mentality, men are to look strong,women are to look dainty and shit. Then I cut my Barbie’s hair off and put my brother’s G.I.Joe gear on her.

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Sarena coach of crossfit propel in Pearland, Tx

Why should we stay in a certain place?
Why can’t we be cute and still able to kick your ass?

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Take for example my friend and fellow Paleo blogger Stephanie of http://www.stupideasypaleo.com
She’s an amazing crossfitter and even though she can man handle a bar….

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…beast mode through pullups getting her team through to the next round of regionals…

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… she can still look cute and cook the shit out of anything.

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As a society we are consumed with looking like the model on the most recent runway, WHY!?!?

If Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Briggs got into a fight, guess who’s going down?

Why be weak?
Strong is the new sexy, bitches!

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Shondria owner of Crossfit Graffiti in Houston, tx

So stop wanting to be the bitch on the cover of PEOPLE magazine, be that girl who can kick her ass.

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Rise up ladies, be strong, be beautiful be crossfit.

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and fucking toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

My first month of crossfit…done

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I won’t be able to do this, I should give up before I hurt myself

Ha! Who would of thought that I’d have said that on my second day of Crossfit bootcamp?
I was scared, my knees were weak and I felt horrible about being last.
The fact that the coaches had to modify wasn’t any better.

I’m glad I didn’t give up because I feel like a fucking beast, seriously like nothing can stop me.
I think about how far I have come and I cry, literally I’m on the toilet crying. Not sure if that’s because of the situation or that my legs are on fire. Either way it makes me happy.

I know there is a lot of people in my same position, wondering if they could do it, doubting themselves, wanting to quit after the first day. Well I’m here to tell you, if I can do it, you can. A year ago I was sick..I was at my fattest I was at my lowest. I took medication after medication and nothing helped.
I’m grateful to see my own progress through Paleo, but thrilled at my progress in Crossfit.

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I’ve never felt like I accomplished much in life (besides graduation, associates in science, changing the occasionally pamper in the middle of the night) but with the gift of Paleo and Crossfit I feel so much I can do and have done.

To go from not finishing the WOD and throwing up, to beasting the shit out of an AMRAP WOD. I’ve accomplished my life, my health and most of all my love for crossfit.

Through the smells,”fuuuuuck”s,”shit”s, and sweat soaked t-shirts and head bands, I’m a crossfit addict.

And I’m proud to say I started my roots in a damn good place. Shondria from Crossfit Graffiti, along with my coaches: Amy(who’s single and very beautiful), Ana, and Juan, who kicked the living shit out of me and didn’t let me quit. To the awesome friends I made who told me ” Don’t be a bitch” (thanks Ashley, Jennifer, and Dallas)when I thought I couldn’t do it anymore.

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It’s because of you all and my loving supportive husband that I made myself push through to the next rep.

Oh not to mention my kids “showing” me the proper way to do a burpee…♥

From one box to another, I’m joining one of the first indoor crossfit gyms in my area, and as long as I feed them chocolate thunder they promise to kick my ass… this should be fun.

Watch out Crossfit Propel!

Don’t let yourself, keep yourself, from finding yourself.

Crossfit isn’t for everyone, like bitches…
You’re not a bitch… so get to it, stop waiting.

Now on to month two.. who’s coming with me?

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

Whole90 and why I didn’t die.

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Whole90 day 1

90 days without my chocolate thunduh? #fuck

So it’s been 12 weeks since I’ve had any type of sweetness, besides fruit…I’m actually surprised I’ve gone this long without fucking up my Paleo granola.

I get a lot of ” damn, you’re fucking awesome for going 90 days” and “you are my hero for going this long”. Truth is, it’s really not that hard

We have it made up in our minds that we can’t live without our sugars and sweets, fuck even the Paleo approved shit.

I’m not going to lie, it was hard trying not to stuff my face of “Paleo” junk food. Slimming down dramatically (along side Crossfit) helped keep me in check, and remember my goal. The biggest thing to keep me from fucking up a mug cake or two, y’all mother fuckers.

Posting my shit on IG has been my savior, y’all keep me on my toes and hold me accountable. Which is good, otherwise I would of caved in by day 2, not really I’m thinking mid afternoon on day 1.

The weird part, I don’t want to stop my whole90 experience. Oddly, I just might continue on my journey. Haven’t figured it out just yet. Anything is possible.
The differences I’ve felt with Whole90 has been such an awesome experience that I want to see how much more it can change me. I went from “okay” type energy to enough to do my daily mother/blogger/crossfitter/wifely duties. 

If you’re thinking about doing the whole30/60/90 I recommend  the shit out of it. Need energy? Have autoimmune pain?  Need an extra kick to get you out that weight loss plateau?
Whole90 motha fuckas!

Whole30-for the regulars
Whole60-for the strong
Whole90-beast mode

Now excuse me while I get ready for the Wod.

Have questions?
Email me: Paleothuglife@Gmail.com Need recipes? Wait for the in progress     ebook.

Keep it thuggish, ruggish and toned,

Pamela Martha Focker

Seriously. We Fucking Love Balls.

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Balls… Ha ha haaaa! Balls, balls, balls! Mwahahahaaaa!

Yeah, I’m fucking immature, but I don’t really give a shit. Balls make me giggle every time. And big, meaty balls make me laugh so hard I have to cross my legs so I don’t piss myself. I can’t even tell you how giddy I am knowing that you are going to want need my big, meaty balls in your mouth. And because I love you fitfucks my fitfam so, I’m gonna tell you how to get deez balls in your mouth.

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Seriously, this shit is easy to make, tastes good hot or cold, and is so fucking portable you’re gonna want to have one in your pocket at all times in case of emergency. (*disclaimer* Do not put wads of meat in your pocket. If you do carry wads of meat in your pocket all day, please don’t fucking email me about the stains on your damn clothes. I can’t help you. You can’t fix stupid.)

Ok. Boil a dozen eggs. Cool. Peel. Set aside. You’re a third of the way done, and it couldn’t get any damn easier.

Next, grab a big ass bowl and toss in the following:

  • 3 lbs ground meat (I used turkey because that shit was on sale.)
  • 2 Tbsp parsley, minced up
  • 3-4 cloves garlic, minced up
  • 1 tsp tarragon
  • 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  • salt and pepper

Mix that shit up and divide it up into 12 balls. Not easy enough for you? Lazy ass mu… May I suggest using your favorite spice blend – Ms. Dash, taco seasoning, Italian, some kick ass homemade family secret type shit?

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Now take a wad of meat in one hand and flatten it with the other. Nothing fancy. Just slap it up a bit until you have a little meat blanket. Put an egg in the middle and wrap it up in meaty goodness.

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You can stick your balls on a baking sheet and stick ’em in the oven as is… OR… you can give your balls a little crunch by dipping them in a bit of eggs and rolling them around in some almond flour… or crushed chicharones (That’s fried pork rinds for those that don’t know. And you should. Cause it’s good. You’re fucking welcome.)… or skip the egg dipping and wrap that mutha in some bacon. Mmmmmmmm… Or don’t. You don’t have to do what I tell you to do. I’m a tough bitch. You ain’t hurting my feelings.

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Alright, space yer balls – naked, covered, or wrapped – out on a baking sheet and pop into a 375 F oven for 25-30 minutes until just about done. Then turn the heat up to 400 F to give the outside a nice browning (about 5 minutes). Serve that shit up with sriracha or some spicy ass mustard. If you don’t eat them all up right away, stick some in a lunch box with some veggies and make your lunch buddies jealous of your massive, meaty balls.

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BALLS! Ha ha.